Pop Culture Echoes

I have always been an avid consumer of pop culture. TV, Movies, Music, Books, Sports.

Even as a baby, the only thing that could lull me off to dreamland were the dulcet tones of a nacent MTV. Video Killed the Radio Star become my favorite lullaby.

Which is why the revelation I had recently should not have been a surprise.

I was talking to one of my newer friends, trying to describe the bond that I have with another friend, a half-my-lifetime friend, who I actually rarely, VERY rarely speak to. And I was at a loss for words. All I could come up with were references. "She's part of my YaYa Sisterhood, if I've ever had one. No, that's not quite right. Have you seen Now and Then? It's more like that. She's Sam and I'm Crissy. Oh. You never seen it. Hm." And the entire time Summer Sisters by Judy Blume kept popping up in my brain, but I didn't even bother bringing that one up.

At first I was just frustrated that this new friend and I lacked a shared cultural history. That I didn't have that shorthand to lean on to describe my feelings.

But the more I thought about these friendships, the more I realized that part of the issue is that I do define them in these sorts of terms. And it is true with almost every relationship in my life. I have these literary or cinematic reference points that I have tied people to and it isn't in the normal "when I hear this song it reminds me of them" sense. It is: These people are my Sisterhood. This one is my "bosom friend", the Anne of Green Gables to my Diana (because face it, as much as I like to think I am an Anne, I am SO a Diana). They are the Westley to my Buttercup.

And all of these associations really do a disservice to these dear people in my life. They can't live up to these fictional ideals, and I shouldn't hold them to those standards.  It's not fair to them.

It's not fair to me either. I allow myself to get disappointed that my relationships aren't more like the characters that I relate to, and if I stopped the comparisons I could see the true value that all of these people bring to my life.